After writing an article on whether men and women think physical or emotional cheating is more painful, I had a few friends reach out asking for specific examples of emotional cheating.

Here are some responses from our Instagram community about what emotional cheating means to them:

• Engaging in behavior with another person which you know would hurt your partner/betray their trust.
• Lowering boundaries of conversational intimacy to a new person.
• Treating another person as if you were in a romantic relationship with them.
• Insecure attention seeking behavior.
• Having some sort of attraction for someone else and engaging in conversation that could jeopardize the relationship
• Having genuine feelings for someone who isn’t your significant other and keeping them in your life.
• Not being present in the relationship/checked out.
• Having feelings other than physical attraction for someone other than your partner.

K, I’m extremely proud of this next one because my SUPER cute, intelligent, witty, loving and wise-beyond-her-years cousin gave her input and I had never thought about it this way. She mentioned the five love languages and how if someone is engaging in all four but “physical touch” there is a solid chance emotionally cheating is present.

In short, the five love languages are the following:

1. Words of affirmation - expressing how much you care about someone. It’s all about intentions and emotions…  so you can see how this may be quite intrusive if you or your partner is expressing borderline romantic intentions, compliments and emotions to someone else.
2. Quality time - giving someone your undivided attention. In the case of (potential) emotional cheating, it might mean excessive alone time with another person where the significant other is not invited/around.
3. Receiving gifts - this shows effort, thoughtfulness and admiration. Y’all want someone giving special/thoughtful gifts to someone else? lol.
4. Acts of service - doing things to help someone else out with their own responsibilities. Could be anything from running their errands, cleaning their house, breakfast in bed, and anything else that would make someone else’s life easier, but like excessively.
5. Physical touch - this is exactly what it reads. It could be anything from holding hands, excessive touching and “friendly” cuddling (lmao gtfo).

If you’re in a relationship and your partner is doing one, some or all of these things with their “friend”, of course you’re going to find it alarming, especially if they are not doing any of these things with or for you… I think that’s the most telltale sign. If you are concerned about your partner’s behavior towards someone else, I would communicate that with them in a non-accusatory way in hopes of letting them know your boundaries have been invaded. If after you communicate your concerns and your partner does not respond compassionately nor do they stop the inappropriate behavior, I would reflect on if the relationship is negatively effecting your well-being.

Personally, if anyone negatively affects me, my well-being and overall life, I will not entertain/tolerate that. If someone isn’t going to take your values, boundaries and concerns seriously, that shows a lack of respect. You are worthy of a fully invested, loving and respectful partner and relationship. If your partner isn’t going to show up as such, there is a REALLY HIGH chance someone else will. (World population: 7.7 BILLION)

With Love,

Stephanie Daily

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