The amount of protection we’ve built within ourselves is truly amazing. Our brain has the ability to completely blind, reject and recreate scenarios to protect our ego and heart.

A simple question such as: “Why haven’t they reached out after we hooked up?” becomes unsolvable. We begin to run endless worst-case scenarios fueled by anxiety. That’s because when we put our worth in the hands of someone else to validate us in someway and they do not, it underscores the negative dialogue we have about ourselves.

There are various reasons why someone wouldn’t reach out again after hooking up or crossing more intimate lines such as sex. We may never know the real reason without it coming straight from the source’s voice and that within itself is very unlikely. It can be extremely damaging to our confidence and self-worth if we begin to jump to conclusions and ruminate on if we did something wrong, or even worse, if we question whether if we are enough or too much for the person who has disappeared after being intimate with them.

I asked 80 men why a guy would stop talking to a woman after he’s had sex with her

Here are the most common responses:

• They thought they were interested but only realized after the act that they were not
• They weren’t that interested to begin with
• They did not feel enough chemistry to continue exploring things
• Their only motive was to have sex - nothing more than that
• They cannot see themselves in a relationship with that person
• Their was no connection aside from physical attraction
• The sex or hook up wasn’t that good/ they have different sexual preferences
• The were already talking/ hanging out with someone else they like more

What does it mean if he hasn’t reached out after hooking up with you?

Based on the most common responses above, when a guy withdraws after being intimate with you, it means that he’s not interested in exploring things any further.

Should you text a guy after a hook up?

The answer here is— you could. It really depends on if you want to keep seeing the guy. Messaging him or calling him to check out the ‘temperature’ isn’t a bad idea. If they claim they’re too busy or are short and not engaged, there is a high chance he is not interested enough to continue hanging out and exploring things.

How to handle rejection

First and foremost, if a guy has sex with you and completely disappears, that speaks volumes about his intentions and character. I’m sorry that happened but I’m also really glad he showed you his intentions and who he is. He doesn’t even have the decency to simply communicate that he doesn’t feel a strong enough connection to continue hanging out? What a coward— good fcking riddance.

Everyone prefers something or someone else and this has nothing to do with you personally, it has to do with their personal preference. If you haven't embodied this simple yet profound perspective, you will 100% be offended when they tell you they are not interested in you or if they're too cowardly to be honest about this. Ever heard the saying, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world and there will still be somebody who hates peaches”? All you gotta do is find yourself a peach lover. Sounds easy right? How do you find yourself a peach lover? By not wasting time trying to convince a grape lover to love peaches.

I hope this gave you some clarity if you’re currently in this situation. Feel free to message me on Instagram if you have a different scenario or question you want insight on.

Related articles:

Sex tips for women part 1
‍Sex tips for women part 2
Sex tips for women part 3
‍Sex tips for women part 4

With love,
Stephanie

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