Dating with low expectations allows you to see things/people for what/who they really are. Dating with high standards means you know your worth and you won’t entertain behavior that is out of alignment with your needs, lifestyle, values and beliefs.

As a high value man/woman you know how much of an asset you are in any relationship you consciously choose to enter into. But more importantly, it is knowing you are worthy of love regardless of what anyone says or thinks of you.

High Standards

Having high standards means you’re confident. Not the confidence that is based on your physical appearance, job title or achievements. Its confidence in your worth, belonging, values, lifestyle standards and beliefs. It means not lowering any of these things in order to please or “impress” someone else. Having high standards also means that YOU ARE OK being alone with yourself- that you KNOW you are validated with or without this person in your life. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but it’s true… You know you’ve got you and that you will always be ok and fulfilled in other areas of your life instead of putting such an anxious emphasis on this area. E.g. If someone amazing comes along that checks-off your Ideal Partner list (see below), epic. If not, you’re going to continue creating the best version of yourself until someone extraordinary comes along because that’s attractive and magnetic AF.

Low Expectations

Having low expectations doesn’t mean you expect the worst from someone. It simply means that you do not tie attachments to an experience or a person early on. One of the best ways to “have” low expectations is to take the other person off the pedestal you may be putting them on. Chances are you’re creating a far greater story in your head (been there). Like, remember who tf you are, know that you are worthy of going on this date with a super attractive, (hopefully) kind and funny person (lol). You should go into a date this way because at best, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. At worst, you’ll be able to consciously avoid these kinds of unpleasant experiences and people in the future.

You deserve to be happy, emotionally/physically secure, respected, passionately desired and invested in.

If you don’t believe this, you need to do some self lovin’. Here is a perfect little self-lovin’ exercise that will help you establish your standards and values…

Write down exactly who your ideal partner is.

The empowering thing about this is that it will allow you to get extremely clear on who your ideal partner is and help you filter out the wrong people, faster.

Make a list of non-negotiable traits and values you deeply believe in and ones you want your partner to deeply believe in. Your list can be as short or as long as you want it to be.

(Basic) Examples of high standards and values:

• Ambitious
• Well-mannered
• Gets along well with your family
• Adventurous
• Intelligent
• Compassionate
• Wants a monogamous relationship
• Knows their needs and communicates them
• Respectful
• Honest
• Funny
• Is self-aware
• Patient
• Faith in a higher power or not
• Has their own passion that they derive fulfillment from
• Is considerate of others
• Optimistic/positive mindset
• Takes care of their mind and body
• Prioritizes personal development/ growth
• Is generous

Why this list is going to help you filter out the wrong people, faster.

Remember how this is a non-negotiable list of standards and values? You have to stick to it. You have to listen to your intuition and believe the red flags when you see them. The moment you see or experience something concerning, you can either communicate your needs and concerns or politely exit the shituationship.

RELATED ARTICLES:
Red Flags You Should Never Avoid While Dating
How To Tell Someone You Are Not Interested

When you allow or accept less than what you deserve, you are betraying yourself and your values. The quickest way to lose self-confidence is to your break promises and values for someone else. Lacking self-confidence then leads to having insecurities. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Remember who you are, what you value and what value you bring into any relationship and then don’t entertain anything or anyone who isn’t in alignment with that.

The right people will show up if you have space that isn’t being occupied by the wrong people.

With love,

Stephanie Daily

Cover picture by a very talented friend, @tyler.henry

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