I think people are a bit put off when randoms slide into their DMs because Instagram hasn’t been socially accepted as a dating app. But like, can you blame the people that do decide to slip ‘n slide their way into your DMs? I sure can’t. Depending on the kinds of pictures you post, of course someone is going to shoot their shot when you’re flaunting your ASSets on your public profile.

30 out of 48 women are okay with men sliding into their DMs. That means there is a 62% chance your efforts will be welcomed right from the start.

Two Ways To Properly Slide Into The DMs:

1. Respond to their instagram stories or posts.
2. The first option is as easy as it sounds. I’m going to keep it short because I believe most people need assistance on the latter. Just keep this in mind when responding to your potential lover’s stories… if you want to strike up AND hold a conversation, give them something to respond to. Don’t just send 😍-🔥-😊-👏🏼or 😂. Compliment them and ask them about whatever it is they’re doing, making or sharing. Also, don’t forget to introduce yourself and how you stumbled upon their profile. Everybody likes a little background.
3. Go straight into the DMs.
4. Do Your Research
5. Hopefully they have a public profile and you can scroll through their pics to get a sense of their vibe, oh and like, if they have a significant other or not, LMAO. I suggest looking at their tagged pictures AND their last 12 pictures AND swiping through any “slide” pictures they have. Ya never know… until ya know… lol. I am seeing more and more people post pictures of themselves alone and the second or third “slide” pic of their boo thang. ‘Omg! How could they be so misleading?!’ #Aesthetics and #Options.
6. Find A Common Interest(s)
7. I really hope this person isn’t a Basic Betty and loves more than just .:avocado toast:., ~traveling~, !pumpkin spiced lattes! and <3 The Bachelor <3. But, to each their own. Once you have found something you’d genuinely like to know or talk to them about based on things in their profile, I’d use this to carry on a conversation after complimenting them (see below). Another common ground could be having mutual friends and asking/chatting about that.
8. Compliment
9. The easiest way to strike up a conversation with anyone, even in person, is to compliment them. It could be their outfit, their vibe/energy, their coffee/food order, their smile, etc… So when in doubt, compliment them. But try something a bit more charming other than ‘Hi, you’re beautiful.’ Think about it… you’ve made a statement. You did not pose a question or leave room for an ongoing conversation. This person owes you absolutely nothing, especially if they do not know you. Remember when I said do your research and find a common interest? Now is your time to compliment them on their great taste in x, y and z.
10. Us women love a sweet little compliment, but I’ve found it refreshing when someone comments/compliments us on things that are a bit less surface-leveled such as our vibe/interests/passions/quirks/style.
11. Be Honest
12. Wouldn’t you want to know how a random came across your profile and ended up messaging you? Uhh… yeah. If you saw her tagged in a friends picture, liked her vibe and insta followed her, I would let her know that. That could also be your ice-breaker… you can chat about how you two know the mutual friend.

The Slow Game For Unacquainted Seekers

The only way a woman is going to say yes to a date via DMs without knowing you is if she thinks you’re extremely attractive (on some level) and not a total x fcking x weirdo. That’s a unicorn, my friends. And I’ve never seen one.

I fully understand wanting to get to the point and even wanting to save the small talk for an in-person discussion but that’s asking a lot from someone who does not know you.

My best advice here would be to build trust over messages. Continue popping in and out, responding to her stories here and there and starting conversations with intention— something other than “hey, how are you?” Maybe try, “What did you do today?” or “How was ____?”.

— IMPORTANT INFO —

You need to learn how to read social cues. Like, if this Basic Betty is clearly being short with you and NOT asking questions in return, there is a good chance she is not interested in you. Read this article on how to tell if someone is interested in you or not.

Regardless, you can shoot your shot and ask her if she would be interested in going out with you. I actually find the use of this wording to be very intentional and it promotes honesty. “Would you be interested…”. I absolutely love that. For some reason it’s less daunting to us women and sort of allows us to feel like we can actually be honest about wanting or not wanting explore things with you. Sometimes women beat around the bush because they don’t know how to tell someone they are not interested, hence why you’ve asked but you’ve never actually taken her out. It’s because you’re leaving it open ended and it’s too easy for her to dodge. So ask her (after you’ve built some trust and credit in the DMs). Example:

• “Wine Wednesday sounds like it’d be a fun time with you. Would you be interested in doing that?” (Flattery, confidence and assertiveness - check, check, check).

Ok, gents! I hope you found this article expansive in the sense of how to intentionally slide into her DMs. Do Your Research - Find A Common Interest - Compliment (on a deeper level) - Be Honest. And after playing the “slow game” and building some trust, ask her if she’d be interested in hanging out with ya.

Easy-peasy.

If you’re still having difficulty even receiving a response from your digital princess, feel free to message me on Insta or email me. I’d be more than happy to assist your efforts or be honest with you about how this Basic Betty is not worth your time.

Happy sliding ;)

Stephanie Daily

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